Email from me to my coworkers. Company wide broadcast. I think it speaks for itself.
You have defiled the sanctity of my workspace; I can no longer labor in unperturbed peace and tranquility. You have thrown a rock into a still pond; kicked a sleeping dog; whizzed on the electric fence.
You stole my trash can.
If returned promptly there will be no (or perhaps minimally hostile) questions asked. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter, and I hope your thieving heart keeps you awake with the tell-tale knock of the damned.
Thanks in advance-