Monday, November 22, 2004


My shoulders sagged as I see the young couple and their demon spawn settling into table 24. Do I dare expect anything other than ground Cheerios and Mac'n'cheese cemented to table tops and salt shakers?
With a heavy heart I grab the necessary silverware and napkins to properly welcome the latest additions to my hell.
"Weclome to ******'s, my name is Michael."
Dead silence. I'm invisible, or so it would seem.
"Well then, anyone for a drink?"
"Sorry, how are you?" They responded. Insincere, but a response nonetheless. Shocking.
"If you really want to know, my soul is burdened with the misery and heartache that saddles every service industry employee when you ignore them. It makes me feel less than human."
There, I've said it. Now they'll freak out and have me fired. Any second now. What's going on here? The father is in stunned silence, but the woman is unphased. Wait...wait...I think she's going to say something.
"What are your soups today?"
My mistake. I thought today might be different.
"Broccoli cheese, chicken noodle, southwestern vegetable, chicken tortilla, and chili."

Sunday, November 14, 2004

I, Robot

This is getting unbearable. The cretins who prowl the booths at the restaurant are getting more skeevy by the day. All bets are off...I'm going to start telling the truth to these tossers.

Big test is this wednedsay, at 1:00. Reckonin' time. Judgement hour. Sweeps week. The only thing standing between my greasy fingers and my four year degree is a mere 90 minutes of chemistry. It's going to be a close one. You though the election was close? Just wait...

I need a nap, a long nap.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

On the horizon.

I might be on my way out of the restaurant industry. It's happening. I have a good chance at landing a nice position with a major firm. Ahh, the relief. Fingers are crossed.

Looks like Jersey is going to be home for a while. I'm a little disappointed about not living in DC but I'm more than happy to have a good job. My brother in law proposed a very interesting idea for a low-cost documentary today. It's got me thinking. Four years until the next presidential election...just enough time.

Off to bed. Exhausted. 12 hour shift. But I made the most money in a single restaurant day....ever, I think. Ironic. I learn about the new job and then go to the restaurant and make a killing. Life never quits. All things are temporary.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

We're over.

That's right, Ohio, we are finished. I've been pissed at Florida since 2000, so yesterday didn't bother me all that much. But you, I thought we were cool like that. I thought your blue collar roots would show through. I was wrong.
Never again will I vacation along your semi-inviting Lake Erie shore. Your fabulous roller coasters will run all summer, but I will not run with them. And that trip to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame that I've been putting off for so long...cancelled.
What a disappointment. You knew what you were doing, and you did it anyway.

You are dead to me. I have no Ohio.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

biting the nails

Florida has fallen. It was claimed by the forces of evil; Kerry needs Ohio...or else. I'm really starting to worry. The wife will not have sex with me if George Bush is re-elected. How is this my fault? I need to make some phone calls.

How can people not see the truth about Bush? He is an underqualified, insincere corporate puppet. It's like voting for Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Or Destro from GI Joe. Evil...pure evil.

Living in Canada grows more appealing by the minute. Toronto is quite nice. I hear that Montreal is like the NYC of Canada.

The Vegas trip is going to be quite fun. 10-15 good friends, gambling, neon lights, limos, and just plain sinnin'. Recipe for a great weekend. Enough escapism...I'm going back to CNN for the election. It's like a slow death....