Tuesday, May 24, 2005

It's coming

New post coming soon...promise.

Friday, May 20, 2005


-Complete heartbreak. There are a ton of geese in this area because of our proximity to the canals and river. Plenty of wet areas. The geese also like these corporate parks because of the large drainage areas, expansive lawns and man made ponds to explore.
-The eggs hatched sometime in April and I've been watching three different geese families with their yellow/brown fuzzy goslings. So cute. Normally, when the geese cross the road with their babies, usually one adult in front and one keeping up the rear, people in cars stop and wait. Not yesterday. I saw one of my families when I came back from lunch.
-Leaving work three hours later, I see that someone didn't stop...and they ran over 4 baby geese. Fucked up. I can only hope it was an accident and the person who did this is hating themself.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wednesday is long

-Not wild, nor weird, nor wacky. Just long.
-Three of my work "peers" were out today so I was alone on the inside team. What fun. What's that dripping off my chin? Oh right, sarcasm.
-I did get invited to lunch which turned out to be a mixed blessing. As the driving arrangments were quickly decided in the parking lot, I was left to ride with the new vendor rep that nobody knows. This is just like being picked last for kickball in third grade. Well I showed you, assholes, I kicked two doubles and a triple and made that diving catch to end the fourth inning...not that I live for playground victories of yesteryear. Or do I? Back on story, I got to take the awkward ride to lunch but managed a better ride back to the office.
-Came home to a house with little food and less money. Improvised dinner of PBJ and some chips and salsa. Then it was off to work on my geology homework (I know, last class ever). I kick ass on the first homework and lab, despite not having the textbook. Assignments will always be due on Wednesdays, meaning that I'll always be doing something Wednesday night. (Here's a hint, it has nothing to do with American Idol).
-Did anyone see Britney's show last night? I sure as fuck didn't, but the highlights were all over the rest of TV land today. What a whore. Not a surprise, but for someone with publicists and agents and managers, she sure has an interesting way of getting her face out there. Note to Britney, we all know that you're a smelly trailer trash hack from the swamps, but we didn't expect you to be the one who provided the video evidence. Why am I talking about this? I should move to England and read good books again. I used to be well read, now I'm just cynical and underpaid.
-Unrelated, the photo gallery is getting ever better: http://mtanner10.deviantart.com/gallery/ (click title of post)

Tuesday's Gone (5/17)

-Catchy title, ne pas?
-Thoroughly uneventful day for me. I remember not doing anything...at all really. Went to work, came home. Karen had some fun work news but I can't talk about it.
-Okay, I will say this: one of her coworkers has gone geurrilla agressive on her. This whale-woman makes superflous trips to my wife's cube, conveniently 'forgets' why she came over, farts, and leaves the scene of the crime. Twice this happened! Who does that?
-Oh yes, I'm in clear defiance of the neighbor's demands listed below...we'll see where this goes.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Monday is for Suckers

-And Virginia is for Losers.
-TRAFFIC!!!! Why me? I'm going to flip out. Yes, there is a back roads way, but it took an hour and a half as well. No relief in sight.
-Uneventful night. Karen spent some time doing internet research while I watched some Tivo'd Ali G show, Isle of Wight concert footage, and some HiDef documentary about bears. A varied palette.
-Interesting note of the day: our downstairs neighbor left us a note. Want to read it? Of course you do, you're a web voyeur reading about someone else's life.
12:20 AM 5/14/05

Dear Karen + Michael,
Could you please help me out with something?

There is a hum that echos(sic) into my bedroom (the room in the back) and disturbs my sleep. It may be a computer modem, I don't know. Please, turn this off at night so my sleep will not be disturbed. Thank You. Also, the cats need to be kept out of that room from around 10PM on. I try to get quiet and sleep and they run, wrestle, play and use the litter box and this awakens me. Would it be possible to close the door so they can't get in during sleeping hours? Thank you so much for helping me with this.


Want to read my reply?


Eat ass.
Although our cats are litter trained, they haven't quite mastered the art of "holding it" when deprived of their "gritty kitty playground." Moving the litter box out of that room poses a few challenges. In the kitchen? Not sanitary. In the dining area? I've lost my appetite. In the living room? Interferes with my social agenda. In the bedroom? See living room answer. As to the demonic hum from the computer, tough shit. We arrive home from work at 6:30 every evening and depart the next morning at 7. Between eating and sleeping, that leaves very little time for the rest of our lives. There is much to be accomplished in the span of a few hours every night, and the computer is necessary for almost all. Your 10 o'clock deadline is unrealistic. Get a helmet. We take measures to keep our noise at a minimum level, unlike the orphanage you seem to run at 8 o'clock on weekend mornings. Slamming doors, shrill cries, and the smell of gruel wipes out any chance we have to recoup on lost sleep. You have this house to yourself for 60 hours during the week and most Saturdays. If our office/2nd bedroom is to be used as daytime-only storage, kindly refund 25% of our rent. You don't work. Sleep in and leave us alone. If you expect Tranquil Pines Retirement Community, fucking move there already. God Bless

(Enclosed find a package of earplugs. Enjoy.)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Sunday of Note

-The wife wakes me at the ungodly hour of 8:00 so I can take her out to breakfast. Sleepy eyed, I navigate us over to the diner and we get a table almost instantly. Trust me, this is a small miracle.
-I order an apple juice. A small apple juice. Karen rolls her eyes and complains that I should just get the large for thirty cents more. I reply that it's not the price, it's the quantity. Why should I pay for more juice than I want?
-I see the waiter coming with an OJ and apple juice. He stops at the table of these two goth kids and puts down the apple juice. They look at it but don't touch. The waiter then runs over to drop off the OJ. I quickly remind him that I ordered apple. No problem, he says, as he runs over to the goth kids, switches the apple for orange, and leaves the correct juice on each table. This is wrong. I'm halfway ready to cause a problem but the waiter is running too fast to listen if I did. The goth kid is looking at us, not touching his OJ. I'm looking at him, not touching the apple juice. After a quick evaluation, we are both satisfied that the other did nothing offensive to the juice. I drank it.
-After the diner Karen heads off to her weekend accounting job and I'm left to my own devices. She did remind me that her mother was coming for dinner at 4 and we needed to clean the house. After she gives me the list to do, she goes, and I start playing with photoshop.
-Some mix-up at work had Karen back in an hour. Wasted gas, but oh well. She sees that I've done nothing so I abandon the photoshop fun and start cleaning. Four hours later, we've got the house in great shape. I'm not going to lie...it wasn't easy.
-Meg comes over for dinner and we all have a good meal. Steak with asparagus and fresh mashed potatoes. How American. I do the dishes while Meg and Karen debate the best approach to Monday's meeting (Karen thing, not me).
-After Meg leaves we settle into the season finale of the Simpsons. Also watch Housewives and then the Tivo'd Family Guy and American Dad.

Slowcooked Saturday (5/14)

-Having finally put the previous night's problems to bed, Karen and I drove up to Newark to do work the soup kitchen. Didn't want to get up early, but it's only once a month so I'm not bothered. I find myself on hamburger duty, loading and unloading trays of hamburgers into and out of the oven. Greasy work. The semi-cooked burgers are then run out to the grill to be fully done.
-The sun kept shining despite predictions of rain. We served about 300 people, many of which were hustling to make it over from the other soup kitchen. I suppose you eat when you can.
-Karen desperately wanted me to sample the fare from Queen's pizza in Newark, so after leaving the church we drive around downtown until we find it. Park the car, walk a block, and realize it's closed. Plan B.
-Jump on the highway and head back to the shore. We stopped to visit Kevin and Alec (at 2:00), bringing some substitute chicken cheese steaks to make up for the absent Queen's fare. Jenny is at a baby shower so we sit around talking about a variety of topics.
-Jenny comes home and we commence brainstorming names for the project. Hilarious. We kept each other laughing the whole way through. Karen passes out on the couch and I let her sleep for an hour. We finally head out around 10...8 hours after arriving. The plan was to stay for an hour or two...not ten. Should have known better, getting together with them is always so much fun that everyone drags it out.
-At home, I watch Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle while Karen sleeps on my lap. Fade to black-

Fearsome Friday (5/13)

-The day of many phone calls.
-Problems with air travel reservations and my terrible reaction pretty much ruined the night. I don't want to remember.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Thursday of Legend

-Yesterday's TPS report is still causing aftershocks. A quick whirl of emails seems to clear up the problem and I'm back to my regular work. Frustrating day.
-Karen and I have decided to sell neon necklaces in the parking lot of Six Flags if these desk jobs don't work out.
-Finally got a haircut, and only a month too late this time.
-Tonight I will write. Indeed.

Wednesday Not Wacky (5/11)

-I totally screwed up my TPS report and it's biting me in the ass.
-Did three miles on the elliptical while watching Coming to America (only 25 minutes worth). I'm determined to drop this 'desk-job weight' I've gained.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tuesday, Corporate Accounts Payable Nina Speaking

-For some unknown reason, both 1 and 9 were closed this morning which dumped an ungodly amount of traffic onto the parkway and 287. Almost two hours getting to work. WTF?
-Typical Tuesday, put out some fires and try to stay busy. Go to the golf course for lunch and abuse the putting green for half an hour. Now I'm hungry again. Like the wolf.
-Finally scheduled that haircut for Thursday. It's starting to look real...bad. I've got to get better about this sort of thing. Wow, today is boring.

Just a moment.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sounds Like Somebody Has a Case of the Mondays.

-I love living in Red Bank; it's so alive. There are always plenty of people out walking in town on even a modestly warm night. It's like a vacation town, but we all live here. We can't all buy a house here though. And by we, I mean me.
-In a rare reversal, morning traffic was worse than night traffic. I'd actually prefer it was always like that, because at 6 o'clock, I want to be home, not sitting on 287.
-Work was work was work. Nothing fun. Have to remember the golf clubs for tomorrow. Should be a nice day and we like to lunch at the driving range where we compete on the pitching/putting green. I don't think they invite me anymore because I've won several straight. I also won at darts. This is funny because I'm not some great athlete...just an average schmo who can chip well and throw darts...although not concurrently.
-Didn't do anything else that could be categorized as productive, but hey, it's Monday. I'm going to bed.

You could get your ass kicked for saying something like that.

Sunday's Journey Into Night (5/08)

-Mother's Day. Indeed. Slept in til 10, wasted time around the house, then got cleaned up and rolled over to Kevin and Jenny's for the festivities.
-Just inside the gates at their place, we see a woman in a van looking quite lost. Window down, she held some handwritten directions in her hand. Feeling helpful, I rolled down my window and asked if she needed help finding anything. I didn't get an immediate reply so I calmly let my foot off the brake and rolled away. Park in the loading space at Kevin's building. Here comes our wanderer: this time she speaks and asks if I know where Kevin and Jenny live. What are the odds. Since we were headed to the same place, we offer to carry her bags and escort her upstairs to the party.
-Good get-together; Alec was sleepy but still provided entertainment for all involved.
-Arrive back home at 7 to wind down and finish the laundry, which I am not allowed to do on my own. Quickly start feeling worse and worse. Laugh my ass off at the Simpsons and Family Guy. Hope I don't feel so assy in the morning.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Saturday Spectacular Spectacular (5/07)

-Woke up at 9:45 when Karen was leaving. Second day in a row I had a dream that I was a cop. This time I was trying to catch a killer who was going to parties in the function rooms of big hotels. Sounds weird, and it is. I can't explain the inexplicable setting this was in: strange futuristic hotels (shaped like a big pineapple) in which there were many luau type parties going on inside. The killer was into spouting Shakespeare and didn't want to get caught. Oh, I get it, I watched The Ladykillers last night....this was my variation of the Tom Hanks character. This literally just occurred to me.
-The previous dream was disturbing...I'd rather not describe it.
-Anyway, I watched Kill Bill 1 & 2, picked up around the house, did the dishes, and managed to squeeze in a shower. Karen just got home from her weekend accounting gig and we're headed out to choose paint colors. So far so good.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Let's blog this pic again.

day after engagement
Originally uploaded by mtanner10.
I love this dress on her.

Fists of Fury Friday (5/06)

-Traffic was delightfully light this morning. How sad is it that the traffic conditions make my daily list of important information? I need a fucking helicopter.
-I was pondering some recent events and their relevance to the process of growing up. Remembering high school and early college, the possibilities seemed endless. I can major in anything I want and I'll easily find a great, high paying job and meet a beautiful, smart, funny girl that will look past my flaws and still love me. I found that girl; the important part is done. But 'growing up' is a gradual process of acquiescence, of reconciling old hopes with new realities. It's time to accept the fact that most people have a job they barely tolerate in order to pay their bills on time. Working in an area you truly love is the enviable exception.
-The second part of said process is setting yourself up for the next goal. We've finished college, we have a job, a place to live, and two cars. Now what? I can either ascend the corporate ladder as fast as possible so I can buy houses and two seat cars for the weekend, or I can look for that career I would love to wake up to. Growing up has been a little rough on me at times, I'll admit, but I'm at the point where I won't settle anymore. I will work harder at achieving the real goals, the subtext of life. Enough growing up, let's have more living.
-As I mentioned, I'm already lucky as hell. I found the girl of my dreams and even got her to marry me. Hopefully she won't realize her mistake. Growing up also entails learning how to function in an adult relationship. It's about building stability and maintaining romance. I still need to shed some of my selfish habits...because I can't lose her. Yeah, she's headstrong, stubborn, far better at debating than me, and hard to handle. More importantly, she makes me laugh. She encourages me to make that dream career happen. She understands that I'm a bit childish and also too uptight. Her smile is like nothing else in this world. I just melt. I try to tell her these things, but I think it's not often enough. Having her wear my ring is my crowning achievement. If having a child is on par with that feeling, I'm in for a great ride. (No, we are not pregnant. This is future tense.) Karen is amazing. I'm lucky to even know her.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Thoroughly Thursday 5-5-5

-Has anyone else seen the movie 555? It's a FUMAC horror classic. Looks like it was shot on a 1980 shoulder mount VHS camcorder. The sets are only half built, there is no story, and plenty of blood is spilled. Moving on.
-Traffic was ungodly again. What is going on? Passover ends and there are more people on the road than before? I need a schvitz. Is that how you spell it? Where are my Yiddish speakers at?
-Checked the Kevin Smith blog at lunch. No updates yet, so I scan the comments and click a few links. One person's blog has a link to this, which is certainly the funniest thing I've read this week. Reminds me of my "Huffer on the 6" tale from a few days ago.
-I could definitely live in New York. That being said, I'm less than an hour away now and I hardly ever go there. Then again, I don't have the money to play in the city. It's all cyclical.
-Red Bank is a great place to live, but I don't know if we'll be able to stay. The cheap starter houses go for 350k, and although we're getting by, it will certainly be four or five years before we can afford that without breaking a sweat. Unless my script sells...in which case, I'll take two houses. Big ones. On the water.

-Worst cinco de mayo...ever. I don't want to talk about it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Wacky Wednesday (5/4)

-Ahh, el cuatro de Mayo. I spelled cuatro right this time. Years of Audi ads led me to believe that quattro was 4 in Spanish; turns out it's just all wheel drive.
-Driving to work, I heard an interview with Orlando Bloom (promoting Kingdom of Heaven) on Z100. They cut straight to commercial afterward, so I jumped to 95.5 to see what their wacky morning crew was up to. Lo and behold, they were doing an interview with Orlando Bloom! Same questions, same answers. I suddenly felt terrible for Mr. Bloom. Sure, he makes an assload of money, but he has a couple weeks of publicity hell every time he's opening a film. His British manners prevented him from being a twat to them, yet I could hear the desperate subtext to all his words. He sounded just like me when I'm struggling through a conversation with some customer on a Wednesday morning. Speaking of which-

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Tuesday again (5/3)

-After working a while, Tuesday through Thursday blend into one long sucky day. Traffic was awful this afternoon. Hour and a half to get home. New Jersey is now costly in both money and time.
-Watched the Amazing Race, pissed that Rob and Amber regained the lead, more pissed that Redneck Ron and Kunt Kelly were able to move back to 2nd.
-Stayed up late, working from 10:15 to 11:45. Managed to write 3.5 pages. Good night.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Monday, the bitch. (5/02)

-Why can't I shake off the cobwebs today? Dragging, mentally behind.
-Just overheard someone say that they were taking the day off because they have to buy a toilet and do some shit. Hopefully the first part won't be delayed...
-It poured like hell on the way home. I tried being a pussy on the gas pedal and managed to average 27.7 mpg. Why is this interesting? I don't know.
-Karen pulls her "walk to the front of the train for some reason" trick again, and is rewarded with an extra long walk in the rain. Silly wife. Love her to death though. We head home, have some simple dinner, and realize we are not leaving the house anytime soon.
-I worked on a few emails, ran a mile on the elliptical while watching Coming to America, talked to Jon about the production company meeting, watched Karen run on the elliptical, and then crashed out on the living room floor with her. My plans for writing were dashed by the impromptu nap. The upshot is that I got plenty of sleep.

Sleeper Sunday (5/1)

-Laziest Sunday on modern record. Slept in again. Got up, ate, wrote a few emails, watched some TV, cleaned up a little, showered at 5 pm, watched some more TV, folded laundry, watched two new Simpsons, Housewives, and the triumphant return of Family Guy and American Dad, and went to bed.
-Family Guy is fantastic...so nice to see new episodes.
-Biggest regret on the weekend: not writing a page.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Sleeping it off (4/30)

-Sleep way in, finally out of bed at 11 something. Karen is feeling blah about things so I set to cleaning the house. I do this until 3 or so when I have to get ready for a visit to Karen's family friend who is giving us a set of really nice china.
-Pick up the dishes and such and get back home at 5 and start making dinner. Karen has baked fresh focacia which is sticking to the pan and driving her crazy. I go to work on the bread and she starts the panini sandwiches. They turn out to be delicious, as expected, and we lay about for an hour or two.
-Meg, mother in law, stops by at 8 and we decide to watch Finding Neverland. Everyone passes out but me. Meg heads home after the movie. Feeling completely uninspired, I check the guide and settle on American Wedding. Nice, mindless fun. Karen passes right out again and I watch the movie.
-In bed at 1 something. Overall, a nice low-key Saturday.