Email to Andy Bader

Andy's weblog: Lost In My Pants; The Immaculate Ejaculates

bader-

I'm reading your weblog...from the beginning. And I must say, your IM conversations are quite funny because they are written exactly as you would say them in real life. It's also funny because I can hear your voice saying these things, but you never said them to me. Somehow, like some advanced NES entertainment system, my brain's creation engine is able to simulate the image and sound of you saying things that I've not witnessed.

Sure, I can imagine an invitation from Nikita Khrushchev to play croquet on the hardwood floors of my childhood home, but there is no accuracy to this vignette. Yet remembering your face and your voice...I can view what it would be like to have you win a spelling bee while simultaneously racing to paint a white picket fence. ("I'm getting more whitewash on me than South Carolina history!").

So, as I sit here marvelling at the magnificence of my own being, it's time to visit www.croquet.com which stakes claim to being, by their continued pursuit of online excellence, the #1 croquet site on the Internet. It's a bold statement, and I'm going to verify it come hell or high hoops.