Monday, August 08, 2005

Overheard in New York, again

It's that time again. Time to lift the best stuff from Overheard in New York.

College girl #1: Ooh, bubble tea. I've never tried that. I see signs for it everywhere.
College girl #2: I think it's chai tea but with little balls of tapioca.
College girl #1: Like tapioca pudding kind of tapioca?
College girl #2: No, like...they're bigger. They're blobs and they're kind of black.
College girl #1: No way.
College girl #2: Yes way. Someone at school dumped their leftover bubble tea in the toilet on the first floor of my building, and they didn't flush.
College girl #1: So that's how you knew the balls, the blobs, were black?
College girl #2: Well, yeah. It looked like an octopus had a miscarriage.
--44th between 7th & 8th


Guy: So people ask me, "What am I?", and I say, "Firstly, I'm a person and an American." It's such a contextual paradox. I just can't explain it.
Girl: Huh?
Guy: I just said I can't explain it, it's a contextual paradox.
--N Train

A crazy man mutters to a girl walking by. She ignores him and keeps walking.
Crazy man: God kill all the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians. Kill the lesbians. God please kill all the lesbians!
Woman on bench: Yeah, I'm sure it's because she is a lesbian, and had has nothing to do with the fact that he has three combs stuck in his afro and smells like a dead goat.
--Columbus Circle station

Drunk guy #1: Hey, how come we never banged our neighbor?
Drunk guy #2: Because she's 17 years old!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why didn't we bang her mom?
Drunk guy #2: Because we're faggots!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why haven't we banged each other?
--V Train

Woman: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies' room.
Stewardess guy: I'm sorry, madam, you'll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my passport.
Stewardess guy: I understand that, but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Woman: But it's in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Stewardess guy: If it's not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we'll make an announcement.
Woman: No, I can't wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Stewardess guy: I understand, but as I've explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you're very nice. You know, in the United States, people don't behave like that.
Stewardess guy: In the Netherlands people don't dress like that.
--KLM Flight to JFK

2 comments:

haroldlg04gjlando said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Conni said...

I actually submitted one to their site & then got to use it in comedy writing class too.
We were waiting outside the theatre for them to finish cleaning the theatre & a man & woman walk up, late 20's.
Man- I never realized how homoerotic the bible is.
Woman - It's not.
Man - Yes it is, there are so many references to fondling & kissing.. it's homoerotic.
Woman - Im going to the bathroom. you want me to get you something?
Man- nah I'm ok.
Then they kiss. That was the strange part. I was prett convinced he was gay. The kiss led me to believe he was trying to come out to her.