-Dad gets here on Thursday. We're going straight to the Yankees game from my office. He is more excited than I think I've ever seen him. Apparently he's some sort of closeted Yanks fan. Who knew?
-I sat Gunfighter at lunch today. Subway can be a dangerous place. Confused? Good, class is about to begin for those who don't know. The rest of you can take five or skip to the next bullet point.
When you enter a room and are faced with a wide variety of potential seating areas, you are making unconscious choices that say a lot about your personality. Imagine a high school cafeteria with one main door. You enter holding your PBJ and Snapple. Where do you sit?
If you sit in the seat closest to, and facing the door, you are a greeter. Not like Wal-Mart, but close. You want people to see you and you want to see everyone who enters. If you sit in the same seat, facing away from the door, you are a monitor (see: lunch lady). It's more important for you to see what's going than for people to see you on their way in. You are inquisitive, or maybe even a nosy shit.
If you sit in the dead center of the room, regardless of direction, you are desperate for contact. You probably can't shut up and have to be the literal center of attention.
If you take a seat in the farthest 1/3 of the room, facing the door, you are practicing gunfighter style. You see who's come in and where they go; you are ready for anything. A variation is sitting in the farthest corner from the door. This is called true gunfighter. You are a bad mo'fo' encouraging some ill shit. If someone has a grudge, you are clearly in a vulnerable position and an attack is likely.
The last position is when you take a seat farthest from the door, facing a wall or corner. You don't want to look at anyone, but you want them to look at you. This is referred to as "God is Dead", named for a friend of mine with a penchant for depressing German philosophy. You are not someone to be trifled with.
-Now I have to go...I shouldn't admit this, but I'm going to watch the Hilton reality show. Why do I fall for this crap?